Screw it and did I really???

Tidbits of my week and my insanity:

  • might have a second job.  Find out this week.  Because why not!!!
  • took a catering job for beginning of March for my church for 150 people.  5 meals worth.  Huh.
  • never see Husband.  Ever.  But drove to see him at work last night.  Don’t sleep well in hotels and I am exhausted now! But it was worth every single second.
  • I am happy.  I am breathing.  I am fully surrendering my future and my life to God and it is feeling scary as hell and amazing.
  • I was spoiled with the worst manicure and pedicure ever today!!!! I am such a bitch :) It was lovely.  Just not well done!
  • have not eaten a real meal at home in WEEKS! I nibble and deal with it.  No grocery shopping or planning for me these days
  • I was feeling crazy overwhelmed tonight so I am in my office organizing like a freak
  • I found myself watching the Bachelor this week and almost threw up.  And then kept watching.  I have lost my mind
  • booked plane tickets for a trip.  My nieces 13th birthday present! I am beyond excited!!!!!!!


Epic Fail Day

Now that I am done wanting to cry about my day, I will tell someone about it!!!

It has been laughable so far.

Bad sleep.

Woke up with a roaring headache.

Brought car for an oil change.

Guy was incredible slow booking me in and 6 cars scooped me.

Went to Chapter to wait.

Coffee gave me an anxiety attack!!! YAY ME!!!

Went to the bathroom and after my…. um… you know, realized that there was no toilet paper.

Sat there for 10 minutes before someone came in and I could beg for toilet paper!

Bought a book.

Got two BAD phone calls regarding my work.

Got a call from the car man.

Need a new power steering pump.

My bill is now $1000.


Went to the bank because of a weird withdrawal and found out I was hacked.  Someone stole my info and stole $400.


Picked up car.

Came home and decided I need to maybe go back to bed.

I have to admit though, I am doing surprisingly good with all of this drama.  I was pacing Chapters saying to myself “live in the moment.  Breathe deep.  This is all ok” I have been so freaking happy this week and it has been amazing! I am finally feeling the crazy hurt lifting from my heart.  I am finally feeling good! And to have a day like this? Just made me laugh out loud.  Really? Car repairs? Stolen money? No toilet paper? WHAT NEXT!!!!!

Happy New Year!!!!

I did this last year and thought it would be fun to do again! Enjoy!

The New Year Meme: 2014

1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?

  • I stood up for myself in a major way.  A HUGE way.  It will be good one day.  For now it hurts still.  A post coming on this soon.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Here is what I posted last year with updates:

  • Find joy.  True Joy: I did at times.  And it is coming back again!
  • Eat healthy.  I did way better at this and I can tell!
  • Find a way to exercise that makes me smile and want to keep doing it. LOLOLOL!!!! 
  • Build my friendships.  I have made some new friends in the last few months and I am wanting to build these up. These last few months, not so much but some relationships are better :)
  • Continue to work on my marriage.  Husband is awesome.  We are awesome together.  I could not have asked for better.  Time to continue that! This is going pretty good! Still love him to death!
  • Start a new hobby.  Loved the pottery but have no huge desire to go back and do more! LEGO.  I build a LOT of lego these days and am loving it
  • Take time to breathe. This I have done.  In a major way
  • Pay off crazy amounts of debt.  Get smart with our money. UGH.  Every time I think things are getting better something big hits and then we start again.  So no go on this one.
  • Make more money at work! Through hard work I can do it.  Time to get cracking and make that happen.  It is the only way to ever get out of the hole we are in.   There is a plan in place but did not succeed at this one.
  • Don’t weigh myself.  At all.  Not even once.  Eat right, dress cute, get sweaty all in the name of “because I want to” not to see the numbers change.  I have gotten better! I weigh myself maybe once every few weeks.  Feeling ok about it right now
  • Take another trip to Terrace to visit friends.  I am hoping this spring? Or it might have to wait till August again.  We will see! DONE AUGUST FOR 2 Weeks
  • Watch less TV.  Oh dear.  I failed horribly!
  • Color more. I have done lots of this! And now some knitting too! 
  • Love myself more.  This I did in a major way this year.  Not always easy but I am doing it
  • Try some new hair styles :) I need to figure out once and for all how to do my hair.  This is getting ridiculous.   SO excited to say that I did this!!!
  • Plan myself an amazing birthday party.  I have 4 tickets to Bon Jovi that week and am thinking I will have to find 3 friends to go with me.  And maybe some dinner before.  And the spa.  And……. we will see! Dinner and Bon Jovi and a trip to Tennessee!!!! I celebrated hard this year :)
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My brother and his wife (love that little girl!!!)
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not physically, but a few relationships have
5. What countries did you visit?
USA-I went by myself to Tennessee, and Husband and I went to Seattle
6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
More joy.  More travel.  More time with people.
7. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Thanksgiving weekend.  The weekend I stood up for myself and lost my father in the process.  First week of November when my siblings came and we celebrated Christmas early!!!!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Surviving.  This was a tough year.  A really tough year.  But I did it.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not realizing how strong I am.  Not reaching out to people when I needed help.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
They thought I had cancer, was sick 2x with a cold or flu, and just this last week pulled every muscle in my back!
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Lego.  Lego.  More lego.d
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Husbands.  He is the most amazing, hardworking, supportive man I have ever met.  I love him more and more each year
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
A whole lot of people.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills.  And lego :)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Seattle.  My trip to Tennessee.  Christmas with my family.
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Jason Mraz “I won’t give up on you”
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
a) happier. b) thinner c) about the same
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?Taken better care of myself financially and mentally. Travel.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
I wish I had worried and been anxious less.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it at home with Husband and the inlaws
21. Did you fall in love in 2013?
I fell more in love with Husband, more in love with good food and more in love with some friends.
22. How many one-night stands?
23. What was your favorite TV program?
No idea.  I enjoy too many shows!
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word.  Maybe despise? And yes.  But can’t name names.
25. What was the best book you read?
No idea! I read all the time! Book and books and more books!

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Belmont University Accapella Choir
27. What did you want and get?
I wanted to stand up for myself.  And I did :)
28. What did you want and not get?
Joy.  My dads friendship back.  More peace.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
I didn’t watch a lot of new movies this year but loved the Oceans movies and the Bourne ones all over again
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 33 and went for dinner and Bon Jovi with some girl friends
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Finding new styles in new stores! Found some comfy shoes, my love for earrings and long hair
33. What kept you sane?
Paige, my dog.  Husband.  MyFries.  Muttart Conservatory. Friends.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Anyone with dimples and a cute smile.  Sigh
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Too much.  How screwed up our world is when kids are being shot.
36. Who did you miss?
Friends and family.  I hate living so far away from everyone.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013?
It is what it is.  Stay strong because I am worthy.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Thinking the same as last year.
“You are more than the choices that you’ve made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes
You are more than the problems you create
You’ve been remade”
- 10th Avenue North



This year I am making some more changes.   A LOT of changes.  Some because I have to and some because I want to.  Check back tomorrow to find out!!